- Be extra nice to the staff
- If you’re going to be there for longer than 60-90 minutes, go up and buy another drink
- Don’t make a mess
- You made a mess. Clean up your mess
- Don’t make overly creepy or lengthy eye contact with anyone
- If you try to strike up a conversation, be mindful of any hints that might mean ‘fuck off I’m working’
- Don’t try to strike up a conversation
- If you listen to music, make sure it isn’t disturbing anyone next to you
- If the person next to you is listening to disturbing music, spill your drink on her
- Actually do work. If you’re just browsing Facebook, and other people see your screen, they will resent you
- If you have to use the restroom, ask the person next to you to watch your stuff
- If your restroom trip is going to take longer than two minutes (if you know what I mean), just go home and do it there
- Don’t put your bag on the chair next to you
- Don’t eat with your mouth open
- Don’t slurp
- Don’t smell bad
- If you get really into a song you’re listening to, bob your head to the beat, but understand that people will think you’re crazy/weird
- Don’t brag about how often you write in coffee shops
- Try to switch it up sometimes – other places are cool too
- Don’t fart, unless it’s to mark your territory as you’re leaving or the person next to you is exceedingly rude
- Don’t forget your stuff
