Guys, Is Now Really The Right Time To Have This Conversation?
“I’ve told you before, and I’ll tell you again, as many times as I have to. I love you.”
A soft sigh passed through the onlooking crowd, a brush of wind in the open air. A few people whispered conspiratorially. Someone sneezed.
The woman at the front of the room smiled at the man facing her before responding.
“And I love you, too. Even though you’re messy. Even though you snore. Even though you tell corny jokes. Now and forever.”
A trickle of laughter, rising in pitch, everyone shifting in their seats as they smiled.
“You really think my jokes are corny?” the man asked.
“Honey, everyone thinks your jokes are corny.”
“Yeah? What about the one with the dog and the pint of beer? You said you hadn’t laughed that hard in years.”
“The dog and the pint of beer? I don’t remember that one.”
“Of course you do. I just told it last week. You know, a dog walks into a bar, steps up to the stool, and orders a pint. ‘A pint?’ the barman asks, are you sure you don’t want a–”
A polite cough brought him up short. Both the man and the woman looked over as the priest tugged on his collar uncomfortably. He coughed again.
“Guys, is now really the right time to have this conversation?”
“Okay, then. Well. Now that the vows have been so delightfully exchanged, we’ll move on to the ring ceremony.”
He looked over at the ring-bearer – an adorable toddler in a tiny tuxedo. The kid patted his pockets frantically, eyes wide, mouth hanging open.
“A toddler walks into a bar…” the groom started to say.
The bride gave him a final withering glare, grunted in exasperation – “Ugh!” – and stormed back down the aisle.
Had fun writing this one!
Yes, I went to a wedding last night. Yes, the groom told a joke during his vows. No, the bride did not storm away.
The wedding was beautiful, the couple awesome, the night an absolute blast. Congratulations Jon and Yas – thanks for the short story inspiration!
And thank you all for reading! Hope you enjoyed the story.